Meat And Bone Grinder Knowledge Base
Where can I get a good meat /bonegrinder? Hi , I feed my dogs the raw/b.a.r.f. diet and therefore I need a good meat /bone grinder, which is able to grind whole raw chicken legs (incl the bones ). Any advices?
What kind of meat grinder can I get the will crush bones too? (to feed my dog)? Bones and cartilage are fantastic sources of glucosamine and chondroitin which are very important for dogs. But I really don't like the risk I have to take when feeding my dog a whole raw bone. So, what kind of grinder would I need that would be able to grind raw meat and bones together, where it will be fine enough where it won't be very sharp going into my dog? Any examples? Links to one? Thanks @Hannah.. Hahahahaha that was funny. You caught me by surprise. LOL. No.. really it's for raw meat bones(chicken, turkey) for my dog. :) @El_andme Thanks. I just have heard very conflicting things from even people who feed raw and now I'm afraid of feeding whole meaty bones
Is there a substitute for bone in the raw cat food recipes? I currently have my cat (about 8 mo.) on Wellness, which is a great dry food, but am thinking of switching him to a raw diet. I've done some research and a lot of the recipes I've found online call for bone, which I then have to grind. Unfortunately, I don't have a meat and bone grinder and its too expensive for me to buy at this point in time. Is there something I can use as a substitute for bone? Maybe bone meal or some sort of vitamin? And if not, is it better to just stay with the Wellness dry food rather than feed my kitty a recipe without bone?
Looking for recommendations for a meat grinder? We raw feed our pets. Raw feeding requires grinding meat, including the bones... mostly chicken... occasionally turkey... no beef. And I'm getting REAL tired of our old-timey hand grinder. Two models we are considering are: 1. Deni Commercial Food Grinder model 3500 (1HP – 800 watts) 2. Sam Baere model SB-810 (1HP) Does anyone have any experience with either of these two grinders... Why you like (or dislike) it? Any other recommendations that won't break the bank in cost? Thanks for your advice. Mike: Our vet is the one that encouraged us to do this. Pets do fine with RAW bones. It's the cooked ones that cause problems. Our pets are all gorgeous and thriving on this diet. And when you look at the cost of high quality commercial food and are careful where you buy the meat (we shoot for about $1/pound), the cost is about the same.
Raw meat recipes for cats? Okay, so I plan to attain a kitten in the near future... and have researched what type of diet I would like to feed to my cat... having read what they put in canned and dry food I am determined not to give this to my future cat, and have read that using a meat grinder on chicken meat and bones is good for a cat and also that grated carrots are good for them also.. so I was just wondering if there is anyone out there that has some nice recipes that they feed their cats. I am not looking for peoples opinions on whether they think this is a bad idea, I have done my research for it, and I am confident that this is the right approach.
Can you help me with meat grinders? This could be a dumb question but I will risk humiliation and ask anyway. I'm looking to buy an electric meat grinder and I want to make sure that all meat grinders can handle the grinding of bone. After all..that's what they are for, right?
Is this meat safe to eat? Someone gave me a bag of frozen beef which had bone and fat in it. I defrosted the meat by soaking it in warm water then I trimmed the fat and removed the bone. I fed the meat through a meat grinder, made patties, and stored them back again in the freezer. I defrosted it today, less than a week later. The color and texture looks fresh but the smell was slightly off. It didn't smell really rancid, just a little funny. In your opinion, is this meat safe to use? I threw it out. I really should know better. Thanks guys.
2 month old kitten food recipe? I am adopting a kitten tomorrow, and I would like to cook it food rather than buy it from a store, because I heard it was better for the kitten. All i could find was recipes using all of an animal. I do not have a meat grinder so I can not use anything with bones. Are there any recipes that do not call for meat grinders or animal bones?
raw diet recipe for cats -- critique please!!!? Okay, so last week I was experimenting with different foods that my cat would eat -- I wanted to make sure he would eat organ, bone, skin, and meat of various sources. He eats beef heart, beef kidney, beef liver, chicken gizzards, chicken hearts, chicken thigh & wing MEAT (no bone), and a little fresh sardines (with bone). And this week I would like to give 100% raw meals to my cat. My question is, can someone check this recipe and see if it's balanced for my cat??? I worry about him not eating enough bone (calcium) because he won't gnaw on bones, so I either have to grind them up really fine (like dust) in a grinder or, what does anyone think about supplementing with calcium supplements??? Or is that a no for cats??? How about crushed eggshells? Can that be used for long term though? I find such conflicting information online about how much calcium/phosphorus is in what, and the P:Ca ratio is soooo important for cats!!! As is TAURINE. How can I be sure my cat is getting enough? A few sources say beef heart is great taurine -- but how can I make sure my cat is getting enough? Do ya'll supplement taurine??? My cat eats twice a day and weighs 12.5 lbs (healthy). ANYWAY, here is the recipe to make 7 meals (enough for a week) -- PLEASE tell me if this requires any supplementation or tweaking and if so, what!: 2.5 lbs (40 oz.) chicken wing & thigh (with bone & skin) - put through a grinder once to smash up the bones and chunk up the meat. I do not finely grind the meat as my cat will eat small chunks of meat. 1 raw egg yolk 2 crushed eggshells 1.5 oz. of unsalted, fresh sardines (with bone) 4 oz. raw beef heart (chunked) 4 oz. raw beef liver (chunked) 1 cup water I just worry my cat wouldn't get the right amount of everything he needs daily with this diet, as the chunks don't distribute evenly when separated into individual meal containers and since he doesn't eat bone. Would adding a 600 mg calcium & 1000 mg taurine supplement to each daily meal container be harmful or beneficial? Also, if my cat gets too much calcium or too much phosphorous one day, but it balances out over the course of a week, will it harm his insides?
Grinding raw meat? I'm a new cat owner and I want to feed the best food possible. After some research I found that feeding your cat raw food is the way to go if you have the dedication. I've acquired the recipes and i'd like to try a chicken thigh first to see how she'll take to it. I read that it's best to grind the bones (for calcium) rather than supplement it. What kind of grinders are out there that will allow me to grind up the meat but the bone as well?? Just looking for something small...apartment use only. Thanks!
Questions about making cat food! please help!? Hi, I'm thinking about making cat food. I know there is a lot to add. I have a couple questions, so please answer any you can! Thanks. Can I use crushed (very finely) egg shells for calcium instead of bones, I don't have a grinder and I would much rather use egg shells then find the right kind of bones or buy some thing that will cost a lot. what vegetable can I use in their food? one of my cats will eat cantaloupe by it's self so I know that's possible. but do you know of other things? Also is it okay for them to eat grass? one of my cats loves to eat grass and pine needles (Even though they're sharp). he usually throws them up though. Is there any tips you know of? I know cats can't have pork (including bacon) and they can have milk, onion, and garlic. Is this enough in their food... meat, calcium (bones or egg shells), vegetables, oils (like salmon oil) and maybe eggs. Is there any thing else I should really get? I know your supposed to put more vitamins in it, but could I just use that? Thanks! comment to 'jen the red's answer: Because egg shells are 94 percent calcium carbonate. Cats in the wild eat mice and birds, they also eat the bones. you know how people always say, drink your milk to get strong bones? milk, calcium, bones! catching on? dear also eat their own antlers that have fallen off to help themselves get enough calcium (there's that word again) to grow their next set! in the wild, cats also nibble on grass and such to help their digestive system. so veggies are good for them. sorry about my saying cantaloupe is a veggie, i know it's a fruit. Cats love to eat some veggies, they can't only eat meat. in fact, your cat food you buy at the store has many veggies and grains in them, aka not 100% meat. my cat has only eaten pine needles like, twice, so don't worry, we don't let him, he just happened to get to it. I've given eggs to my cats before for making their coats shinny, it worked, and they ate it on their own. nothing happened to them. *deer*
Will a grocery store grind chicken/turkey on request? My cat's diet needs to change to a raw diet which calls for ground meat (chicken, turkey, rabbit) including the bones. I don't have a meat grinder and I'm contemplating buying one to do it myself- but I was wondering if anyone knew if any major grocery stores like Kroger's deli would grind the meat for me if I buy it there (saving me the cost and dirty work).
Anyone know of a way to make my dog eat his raw diet food in one place? he wants to walk away with it :(? My very small dog (6lbs) eats a raw diet. He gets his medley or slop, and then mostly meat. I take a meat grinder to a lot of it (bone organs and all), but i like giving him RMBs (good for teeth, gums, and jaw), but once i give it to him he takes it and wants to eat it somewhere in the house... which means raw meat on the carpet, floors, rugs, etc. (he usually wants to drag it to a rug, then after a bit he takes it to his dog bed, then to another rug, and so on). Anyone have advise for getting him to eat it where i want him to? Here is a link to his diet: http://dogsanddrinks.com/Article.aspx?id=5 For RMBs i usually give him large chicken wings, thighs, and pork neck. Also whole fish... he loves it but then he is stinky :( especially mackerel. Anyone have any other suggestions for RMBs? I was thinking about tying it down somehow... I should add, he is a bit claustrophobic (he was a rescue) so he hates kennels, but puppy gates might work. And we live in MN, so right now it is -10 outside... he doesnt even want to look out the window it is so cold.
Last night I had another weird dream...?) read more? Thes dream starts in the living room of an old house, there is a staircase leading to the 2nd floor, the wood work is very dark and the lights are dim.Anyway there is a machine in the living room, it looks like a cross between an antique dresser and an old deep freezer, in the dream I walk over to the machine and plug the cable to my bass guitar into a hole in this thing, and it is working like an amplifier, so I play music for a little while and then I quit, I unplug the cable and when I am putting my stuff away ( which all seems very odd because I have never been in this house before in awake times ) somebody I do not know comes in through the door and opens a door on the front of the machine ( I do not know what else to call it ) and they are carrying a huge chunk of meat, like a lamb leg but allot bigger, they throw it in the machine and it starts to grind the meat into like hamburger, bone and all. I do not know why this disturbed me but it did, it seemed confusing, but not frightening. Then it finished grinding and it was quiet for a minute, then a few other people came into the house, and stood in front of the machine, one of them opened a different door then where the grinder was and they walked in to the machine and closed the door, there was a humming noise, and when the door opened that person was shaped like a tall cylinder and covered in a transparent red substance that looked like jello, It did not seem to hurt them but it changed their shape and cased them in this red jello. one by one they went in the door, there was humming and they came out all weird and cylinder shaped. then I woke up. Any ideas what that is about? Word, If you check back on this, I did not know the people or any of the suroundings, My bass was the only thing that didn't seem unusual to me in that dream.
Best way to hide a dead body? 1)Tie the body with a big stone and drop it in ocean 2)Choppin' it into small pieces and feed it to pigs or dogs 3)or else those pieces will be mixed with large amount of beef meat 4)Mix those pieces with building concrete mixer 5)Remove the bones from that body and cook that boneless meat and give a feast along with booze to friends and relatives 6)Using wet grinder, grind those finely chopped pieces and then mix it with running river any other suggestions?
Can I feed my dog the prey model raw diet? (She has a lot of teeth missing)? Jessie has a lot of her teeth missing and also really weird gums on the one side of her mouth (really puffy & red, almost cover her teeth). We've been to the vets but they just told us to keep an eye on it. So, lately I've been looking into raw feeding (specifically the prey model) but I was wondering: Would she be able to chew bones, or if it would just be even worse for her teeth? She doesn't like hard dog treats because I think it hurts, but she still love soft treats. I've heard about grinding bones.. but we don't want to ruin our meat grinder. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Oh. And she's 11 years old, still going strong, if it matters. :) Thanks so much! :) Thank you soooo much everyone! All of you answered so well that I don't know who to pick as a best answer! I looked around and can't seem find those frozen natural foods anywhere though! And I will look into egg shells. I never thought of that! I will also research other products high in calcium that is good for them. So thanks! :) So as of right now, I think I will just stick to feeding kibble, as it is much easier on her teeth. But I will look into your suggestions! Thanks again everyone. :)
Did anyone notice the Sweeney Todd reference in Fable III's Understone DLC? Go to Understone and find the house that is called "The Sandgoose Museum". You'll notice that the bottom half of the house looks like a pie shop (Mrs. Lovett's) and that the top has a salon chair with a trap door behind it (Sweeney Todd's). If you have read the original penny dreadful about Sweeney Todd called, "The String of Pearls" and did not see the movie/musical (I saw both) then the set up is not to the book's, but the musical's. With Mrs. Lovett's shop directly below Todd's shop. There even is a basement with a torture rack and a barrel with bones in it (next to the torture rack), there is however, no oven in the basement or meat grinder (aww... sadness). Well I suppose we now know where they butchered the "Meat" on! Hahaha! I look forward to your answers! :)
Interested in feeding my cats a raw diet or switching to mostly canned food, help? I was asking a question last night about a cat food by Taste of the Wild and I had a couple answers that informed me of how bad dry food really is for cats...I was shocked to find this out. So apparently more canned food would be better or just switching to a raw diet. I would like to do the raw diet if someone can give me a good, easy, cheap recipe to do it. I also don't have a meat grinder, so is that something you HAVE to have in order to feed raw since cats are supposed to eat a small amount of bones? If you feed your cats raw, please list what foods you buy and how much you feed them daily and WHAT meats you feed them daily. Also, how much a month approx would it cost to raw feed 2 cats? Tell me all you know! I looked at some sites, but none were really explaining the types of meat to buy. One last question-one of my cats is a kitten, would a raw diet give him all the nutrients he needs? THANKS! Ok, now i'm getting confused. Everyone was saying that a raw food diet is so much better because cats are carnivores and most of the proteins in dry food are plant proteins while proteins in canned food or raw diet are animal proteins. I don't want to risk them getting a disease from infected meat so I guess I will continue to offer them dry food at all times, I'm going to use Taste of the Wild Rocky Mountain Feline and then I'll give them a canned food once a day...That sounds easier anyway. I just was curious about the raw food because everyone said it's the healthiest for them. I too know of several cats that lived solely off of dry foods and they lived to be 15+, I just thought maybe raw would be better...but I'm too afraid to do it because I'm afraid I wouldn't get the right amounts of different nutrients etc.
My best friend's having issues with her boyfriend. BIG-TIME.? They've been dating for 5 months n they had a huge fight like last week and he bit her...as in REALLY bit her.he almost took a chunk out of her arm.now she's in a lot of pain,n on top of that,she cant wear any t-shirts to college,cuz tht bruise is black in colour and looks really horrible.and the worst part of this entire situation is tht she's still with him..when i ask her dump him,she just says tht she doesnt hav d heart 2 dump him.i feel like putting him through a meat-grinder when i see d state of her arms.when she tried to show him d bruise,he just looked away and said: "hey,don't show it 2 me,i dont hav d balls 2 look at it!" he also insists tht he bites only d people he loves.she insists tht he's d only one she can ever think of marrying.at this rate,if she marries him,he'll chew her out n spit out her bones 5 days into d marriage.she refuses 2 listen to anyone.
Any Tips for a Healthy, Balanced Diet? I'm not looking to loose weight since I'm only 15, maybe a few pounds would be okay. But I'm looking to improve my diet as it is better in the long term. Any cheap suggestions? Life is pretty stress worthy too, so having a healthy diet should lower stress? What's the nutritional value difference between skimmed and semi-skimmed (I love both.) Should I eat nuts? I've heard they are fattening. Suggestions please? I know not to cut ALL fat out as some can be healthy. Oh and, I used to be vegetarian after being forced to watch bones go through a grinder at 12 in school, so I'm not really fussy now, I'll eat practically anything. =P And yes, I eat meat now ^_^ ALL answers appreciated guys, tyvm !! =)
Cats - Raw Food & RF Supplements - Advice Please? My partner and I have a few cats we've picked up over the years and we have decided to bite the bullet and try some raw diet as two have developed chronic IBS. Now, we're vegans, so the idea of spending a lot of time with dead animals is hard for us, and neither of us find smashing up bones appealing...plus we can't really afford one of those fancy grinders right now, and looking up the costs of each individual additive -yeouch! -- so we thought just raw meat plus supplements designed for adding to a raw food diet. We've come across a few (here's a link that lists a few: http://cats.about.com/od/homepreparedfood/tp/toprawdiet.htm) but would like to know what other raw-foodists who don't use bones use, and/or what is your opinion of these supplements. Also, should we be giving a general vitamin and mineral supplement, or, additional Omega 3/B-complex, or will a RF supplement take care of all that. Also, what meats to you recommend? Can we stick with chicken or turkey (we can get organic chicken (albeit 6+ years old) from local egg farmers)? Can we use all chicken meat, or should we stick to white or dark meat? Cow beef (psychologically easier because it doesn't look like the animal)? Fresh water fish (a neighbor has a pond with Crappy, Blue Gill, & Some Other Yellow Fish)? We've seen sites where you can order raw foods already ground, but we simply cannot afford those, and we're more than two hours away from a Whole Foods Market. Our brood is currently: F-6, M-8, M-12 (IBS), F-14, M-14/15, M-17, M-18 (IBS), all altered, all seem otherwise healthy (all had vet checkup, blood work, & fecal/urine in November to the tune of $1,500) Note: We have always fed primarily canned food, with a little dry. Currently serving Chicken Soup. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance for your time and sharing your expertise.
raw diet recipe for cats -- critique please!!!? Okay, so last week I was experimenting with different foods that my cat would eat -- I wanted to make sure he would eat organ, bone, skin, and meat of various sources. He eats beef heart, beef kidney, beef liver, chicken gizzards, chicken hearts, chicken thigh & wing MEAT (no bone), and a little fresh sardines (with bone). And this week I would like to give 100% raw meals to my cat. My question is, can someone check this recipe and see if it's balanced for my cat??? I worry about him not eating enough bone (calcium) because he won't gnaw on bones, so I either have to grind them up really fine (like dust) in a grinder or, what does anyone think about supplementing with calcium supplements??? Or is that a no for cats??? How about crushed eggshells? Can that be used for long term though? I find such conflicting information online about how much calcium/phosphorus is in what, and the P:Ca ratio is soooo important for cats!!! As is TAURINE. How can I be sure my cat is getting enough? A few sources say beef heart is great taurine -- but how can I make sure my cat is getting enough? Do ya'll supplement taurine??? My cat eats twice a day and weighs 12.5 lbs (healthy). ANYWAY, here is the recipe to make 7 meals (enough for a week) -- PLEASE tell me if this requires any supplementation or tweaking and if so, what!: 2.5 lbs (40 oz.) chicken wing & thigh (with bone & skin) - put through a grinder once to smash up the bones and chunk up the meat. I do not finely grind the meat as my cat will eat small chunks of meat. 1 raw egg yolk 2 crushed eggshells 1.5 oz. of unsalted, fresh sardines (with bone) 4 oz. raw beef heart (chunked) 4 oz. raw beef liver (chunked) 1 cup water I just worry my cat wouldn't get the right amount of everything he needs daily with this diet, as the chunks don't distribute evenly when separated into individual meal containers and since he doesn't eat bone. Would adding a 600 mg calcium & 1000 mg taurine supplement to each daily meal container be harmful or beneficial? Also, if my cat gets too much calcium or too much phosphorous one day, but it balances out over the course of a week, will it harm his insides?
raw diet recipe for cats -- critique please!!!? Okay, so last week I was experimenting with different foods that my cat would eat -- I wanted to make sure he would eat organ, bone, skin, and meat of various sources. He eats beef heart, beef kidney, beef liver, chicken gizzards, chicken hearts, chicken thigh & wing MEAT (no bone), and a little fresh sardines (with bone). And this week I would like to give 100% raw meals to my cat. My question is, can someone check this recipe and see if it's balanced for my cat??? I worry about him not eating enough bone (calcium) because he won't gnaw on bones, so I either have to grind them up really fine (like dust) in a grinder or, what does anyone think about supplementing with calcium supplements??? Or is that a no for cats??? How about crushed eggshells? Can that be used for long term though? I find such conflicting information online about how much calcium/phosphorus is in what, and the P:Ca ratio is soooo important for cats!!! As is TAURINE. How can I be sure my cat is getting enough? A few sources say beef heart is great taurine -- but how can I make sure my cat is getting enough? Do ya'll supplement taurine??? My cat eats twice a day and weighs 12.5 lbs (healthy). ANYWAY, here is the recipe to make 7 meals (enough for a week) -- PLEASE tell me if this requires any supplementation or tweaking and if so, what!: 2.5 lbs (40 oz.) chicken wing & thigh (with bone & skin) - put through a grinder once to smash up the bones and chunk up the meat. I do not finely grind the meat as my cat will eat small chunks of meat. 1 raw egg yolk 2 crushed eggshells 1.5 oz. of unsalted, fresh sardines (with bone) 4 oz. raw beef heart (chunked) 4 oz. raw beef liver (chunked) 1 cup water I just worry my cat wouldn't get the right amount of everything he needs daily with this diet, as the chunks don't distribute evenly when separated into individual meal containers and since he doesn't eat bone. Would adding a 600 mg calcium & 1000 mg taurine supplement to each daily meal container be harmful or beneficial? Also, if my cat gets too much calcium or too much phosphorous one day, but it balances out over the course of a week, will it harm his insides?
Have you chopped a side of beef, used the meat in a hamburger grinder, then made and ate hamburgers from them? I did this today in a culinary class. I then grilled the burger and melted pepper jack on top of it. It was really good. It was from the round part of the beef. The head chef took out the leg bone and veins from the beef. I believe I added around 15-20% fat. I'll have to admit Ruby Tuesdays is just as good. And I like the hamburgers I make at home, but it was really good. Have you done this? Tom, it sounds good but expensive. I said 15-20% fat. And the fat makes it stick together. Part of a hamburger is having it a little greasy.
Age of Empires 2: Age of the Kings Not Working? Okay, this is for all the tech guys out there that hopefully still play awesome games as old as Age of Empires 2: Age of the Kings. I had recently wiped by hard drive and reinstalled everything (including most Microsoft service packs) because it was all gunky. Now I'm trying to reinstall AoE 2. So I installed AoE 2 completely without any kinks. When I double click the AoE icon, the standard loading screen comes up. No problems there. Then, my disk drive starts to sound like a rusty meat grinder currently going through a particularly hard piece of bone or something. Soon, the loading screen goes away, but the screen doesn't go black and then change into the opening intro movie as it normally should. Actually, nothing happens. I go to "My Computer" and right-click on the AoE disk in the drive and run a DirectX Diagnostics on my system. I get warning signs saying I'm missing the following things (which I am absolutely clueless about): DirectX Files: ddhelp.exe dxapi.sys d3dim.dll d3ramp.dll d3drm.dll d3dxof.dll d3dpmesh.dll DirectX Drivers: vga.drv Also, my computer failed the Direct3D diagnostic test: "Failure at step 17 (Query for D3D): HRESULT = 0x80004002 (No interface)" I'm sure by now that half the people that would have continued reading this are now currently intimidated and switched to another question. I don't blame you. But for the people that persevered, is there any possible way that I can fix this? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Sorry, should say: "Soon, the loading screen goes away, but the screen doesn't go black and change into the opening intro movie as it normally should."
Cheapest meat grinder in the UK that can handle bone? We want to start giving our cats a raw diet, so we're looking for a meat grinder that will be able to handle grinding bone. Any suggestions for a cheap one that's available in the UK? Thanks! Some grinders definitely can handle bone, as other raw feeders use them, they might not be guaranteed for that use, but they do work.
Need a good meat grinder, HELP!? I am desperately seeking a good meat grinder that will be strong enough to grind meat w/ bones in it (soft bones such as chicken only). Are most commercially available grinders able to do this? Any recommendations? Thank you!
Does the KitchenAid meat grinder do chicken bones? Or will they snap the puny plastic thing into pieces / bind up the machine? I didn't think so. Thanks, I will not buy the grinder attachment. This is more what I need: http://alpha-nutrition.stores.yahoo.net/model121hp.html Or maybe even this cheaper model: http://www.pierceequipment.com/grinders.html
will butchers grind meat up with bones? i dont have a grinder to grind my pet food with the bones in it...i was wondering if butchers would grind the meat up for me even if it costs a little more? you feed your pets ground raw chicken bones for there teeth and its a good source of calcium. its been done for forever. ok maybe its just pregnant hormones but i just wanted my question answered with a yes or no... not how best to feed my animal. i have a bengal thats been fed the raw meat WITH bones since she was weaned from breastmilk...the best breeders in san Diego(were i live) feed there cats the recipe i feed mine. its not recklessly done. and i feed her chicken neck bones as a treat and she has never had any issues at all. she is 5 generations from an Asian leopard this is what i feed her.
She was only a... (Hey if ya can't take a joke....)? She was only a... The first 29 I found online -- the rest I'm guilty of! *"She was only a plumber's daughter, but she sure 'gave my heart a wrench!' She was only a stableman's daughter but, she 'handled all the horse manure!' She was only a hacker's daughter but, all her 'bits were in their proper arrays!' She was only a butcher's daughter but, she 'could REALLY pack Salami!' She was only a gynecologist's daughter, but, she sure 'could play her vulva!' She was only a stockbroker's daughter, but she could really 'ride the BULLS!' She was only a taxi driver's daughter but, she knew how to 'keep your meter running!' She was only an accountant's daughter but, she knew how to 'profit from her bottom line!' She was only a farmer's daughter but, she 'knew her carrots from her carats!' She was only a furrier's daughter but, she knew 'how to produce minks!' She was only a programmer's daughter but, she sure knew 'her 1's from her 0's!' She was only a sheep farmer's daughter but, she sure knew how to 'fleece her flock!' She was only a preacher's daughter but, she sure knew how to 'fleece her flock!' She was only a fishmonger's daughter, she had 'crabs on her place,' poor soul! She was only an electrician's daughter but, she had 'all the right connections!' She was only a coal minor's daughter but, she had a 'mine of her own!' She was only a marine colonel's daughter but, she was 'rotten to the corps!' She was only an artist's daughter but, she knew where to 'draw the line!' She was only a bus driver's daughter but, she knew 'where to get off!' She was only an architect's daughter but, she knew 'all the angles!' She was only a fisherman's daughter but, when 'she saw my rod she 'reeled!' She was only a minister's daughter but, 'I wouldn't put anything pastor!' She was only a creditor's daughter, but she 'allowed no advances!' She was only a taxi driver's daughter, but 'you auto meter...' She was only a plumber's daughter, but she had 'good connections!' She was only a surgeon's daughter, but oh, 'what a cutup!' She was only a photographer's daughter, but she was 'very well developed!' She was only the village belle, so I gave her a 'ring!' She was only a golfer's daughter, but her 'form was perfect!' She was only the milkman's daughter, but she was the 'cream of the crop!"* From here the rest came out of my sick freaking mind... She was only a pool man's daughter, but she 'sure had nice pontoons!' Only a secretary's daughter, but she 'had the nicest fonts!' Only an auto mechanic's daughter, but 'she sure blew my rod!' Only an auto mechanic's daughter, but I 'loved her clutch!' Only a grease monkey's daughter, but 'was sure slippery!' She was only a plumber's daughter, but she 'sure did love my snake!' Only a moon shiner's daughter, but I 'loved her still!' Only a feline fancier's daughter, but she had 'the best pu$sy in town!' Only a watch maker's daughter, but she 'loved to make time!' Only a jewelrer's daughter, but 'I gave her a ring!' Only an ER nurses daughter, but she 'hooked me right up!' Only a doctor's daughter, but she sure 'made me feel good!' Only a doctor's daughter, but 'after seeing her I didn't need Viagra!' Only a pharmacist's daughter, but she 'had unlimited refills!' She was only a psychiatrist's daughter, but 'after seeing her I threw away my Zanax!' Only an ophthalmologist's daughter, but she 'was an expert with one-eyed things!' Only a psycholist's daughter, but 'we blew each others minds!' Only an orthopedist's daughter, but she 'always gave me a boner!' Only a dermatologist's daughter, but she'd 'pop me like a pimple!' Only a neurologist's daughter, but she 'came like an epileptic fit!' She was only a urologist's daughter, but she 'knew where my prostrate was!' Only a plastic surgeon's daughter, but 'her tits were homegrown!' Only a pediatrician's daughter, but she'll 'always be my baby!' Only an otolaryngologist's daughter, but 'was deaf, no sense of smell, but she had a deep throat!' Only a chiropractor's daughter, but she'd 'massage my ligament!' Only a plebotomist's daughter, but I 'loved to stick her and only drew blood once!' She was only an endocrinologist's daughter, but 'my gland always swelled!' She was only an x-ray tech's daughter, but she 'showed me things I never seen!' Only a receptionist's daughter, but she 'always gave me the prime appointment!' Only a herpetologist's daughter, but she 'had a way to make my snake grow!' Only a politician's daughter, but she 'could lie with the best of em!' She was only a vegetarian's daughter, but she 'could toss my salad anytime!' Only a weatherman's daughter, but she 'always forecast foreplay!' Only a waitresses daughter, but she 'had the nicest tips!' Only a comedian's daughter, but she 'always found my ticklish spot!' Only an astronaut's daughter, but when I 'saw her moon I blasted off!' Only a millionaire's daughter, but 'the silver spoon wasn't in her mouth!' Only a manicurist's daughter, but I 'loved to nail her!' Only a pedicurist's daughter, but she 'made me curl my toes!' She was only a seamstresses daughter, but I 'loved to unravel her hem!' Only a cake decorator's daughter, but she 'really dug my frosting!' Only a junkie's daughter, but 'try as I might I never ODed!' Only a detective's daughter, but she 'was most comfortable undercovers!' Only a bartender's daughter, but she 'gave head not to my beer!' Only a beekeeper's daughter, but 'I loved to sting her!' She was only a tattoo artist's daughter, but I 'got under her skin!' Only a fisherman's daughter, but she 'knew where to cast my worm!' Only a Bluesman's daughter, but her 'nipples were hard as she shuffled!' Only an accordion player's daughter, but she 'taught me to polka!' Only a musicians daughter, but you should've seen 'her sound system!' Only a trombone player's daughter, but 'her own lubrication made her slide!' Only a violin players daughter, but she 'loved to fiddle around!' Only a harmonica player's daughter, but 'her tongue was the best part of head!' Only a Blues harp player's daughter, but she 'had a nice embouchure, on both lips!' Only a guitarist's daughter, but she 'sure could strum her own G-string!' She was only a sound man's daughter, but she 'had top notch speakers!' Only a sound man's daughter, but she'd say, "Don't use that 'tone' on me!" Only a drummer's daughter, but 'no machine can replace her!' Only a piano teacher's daughter, but she 'taught me to boogie!' Only a hippie's daughter, but she 'always gave me a peace sign!' Only a songwriter's daughter, but 'there was rhythm in her bizzounce!' Only a singer's daughter, but she 'had the best lungs around!' Only a saxophonist's daughter, but 'man can she blow!' Only a poet's daughter, but she 'left me tongue tied!' Only a writer's daughter, but she 'never left a dangling participle!' Only a writer's daughter, but she 'left everything clearly obscure!' She was only a railroad worker's daughter, but 'that's how I learned to ball the jack!' Only an army sergeant's daughter, but 'I always sprung to attention!' Only a dairy farmer's daughter, but 'man what udders she had!' Only a pig farmer's daughter, but she 'really dug my pork!' Only a hunter's daughter, but I 'saw her rack without a scope!' She was only a hair dresser's daughter, but she 'loved my shampoo!' Only a lawn mower's daughter, but her 'hedge was always trimmed!' Only a prostitute's daughter, but she 'had a good hooker!' Only a used car salesman's daughter, but she 'knew her way around a back seat!' Only an attorney's daughter, but she 'dotted her 'i's and crossed all her T's!' She was only a smuggler's daughter, but she 'had the best hiding places!' Only an actor's daughter, but she 'loved to play!' Only a caddies daughter, but she 'could carry those bags!' Only a carpenter's daughter, but I 'loved to hammer her!' Only a police man's daughter, but I 'loved her line up!' Only a camper's daughter, but 'every time I saw her I pitched a tent!' She was only a jockey's daughter, but she 'gave the best rides!' She was only a pet shop owner's daughter, but I 'dug her puppies!' Only a sandwich maker's daughter, but I 'loved to eat her!' Only a stone mason's daughter, but 'was very well sculpted!' Only a bedding maker's daughter, but she 'sure had nice pillows!' She was only a gardener's daughter, but she 'had the best rosettes you ever seen!' Only a gardener's daughter, but she 'sure made my cucumber grow!' Only a gardener's daughter, but she 'had the best tomato's!' Only a communist's daughter, but she 'always gave me good Marx!' Only an ice cream seller's daughter, but 'I loved to lick her!' Only an alcoholic's daughter, but I 'loved to liquor!' She was only a reporter's daughter, but she 'knew where to find the dirt!' Only a security guard's daughter, but 'she used to rip my boxers off!' She was only a CEO's daughter, but we 'merged and it didn't cost millions!' Only an AOL pervert's daughter, but 'we had sigh burr sex!' Only a dry cleaner's daughter, but she 'left my underwear firmly pressed!' Only a librarian's daughter, but I 'often looked her up!' Only a boater's daughter, but she 'had a built in life jacket!' Only a producer's daughter, but 'when I saw her I always got a hard on!' She was only a mail man's daughter, but she 'always delivered!' Only a goalie's daughter, but she 'was an easy score!' Only a surfer's daughter, but she 'always gave me a woody!' Only a cosmetologist's daughter, but she 'always put out!' Only a trucker's daughter, but she 'could take a big load!' Only an apprentist's daughter, but she 'taught me many things!' She was only a stock clerk's daughter, but she 'never ran out!' Only a banker's daughter, but 'her figure always added up!' Only a 12-stepper's (AA) daughter, but 'we started at thirteen!' Only a blondes daughter, but she 'was too dumb to know better!' Only a baker's daughter, but she 'had the sweetest pie!' She was only a garbage man's daughter, but she 'often let me dump my load!' Only a machinist's daughter, but she 'was a hell of a grinder!' Only a welder's daughter, but she 'could melt steel!' Only a manufacturer's daughter, but her 'baby maker broke down!' Only a warehouse worker's daughter, but I 'often packed her up!' She was only a bar room drunk's daughter, but 'had no closing time and never IDed me!' Only a fruit picker's daughter, but 'man what peaches she had!' Only a fruit picker's daughter, but she 'had pitless plums!' Only an illegal alien's daughter, but she 'used her secret on the Border Patrol!' Only a gambler's daughter, but 'loved it when I rolled her bones!' Only a drag racer's daughter, but she'd 'blow me and I'd fuel inject her!' Only a gas station owner's daughter, but she 'let me dip my stick!' She was only a Master Card holder's daughter, but I 'always fit into her slot!' Only a TV pastor's daughter, but she 'taught me all about sinning!' Only a deep sea diver's daughter, but she 'loved to go down!' Only a zoologist's daughter, but I 'went ape over her!' Only a biker's daughter, but she 'gave wild rides!' Only a fireman's daughter, but she 'sure knew her way down a pole!' She was only a die maker's daughter, but I 'loved all her tools!' Only a fuel delivery driver's daughter, but she 'was hot as a firecracker!' She was only a Klansman's daughter, but she 'wouldn't be caught dead under white sheets!' Only a disc jockey's daughter, but she 'never took commercial breaks!' Only a mover's daughter, but man she 'wouldn't stop!' Only a toll collector's daughter, but she 'didn't require exact change!' Only a clown's daughter, but she 'loved to fool around!' Only a Mexican chef's daughter, but 'her taco was tasty!' Only an Italian chef's daughter, but 'knew what to do with my meat balls!' Only a New Yorker's daughter, but she 'often used the finger!' She was only a Polack's daughter, but she 'loved my kielbasa!' Only a Russian's daughter, but 'I loved her borscht!' Only a Frenchman's daughter, but 'told me all about Paris (Hilton)!' Only an African's daughter, but she 'could purr. I ain't lion!' Only an Egyptian's daughter, but 'was always good for a hump, or two!' She was only a Greek's daughter, but I 'French kissed her a$s!' Only a Chinaman's daughter, but her 'wok was always cwooking!' Only a Southern Californian's daughter, but she 'could blow like Santa Anna winds!' Only a Floridian's daughter, but she 'gave more rides than Disneyland!' Only a Floridian's daughter, but she 'could blow like a category five hurricane!' Only a Mississipian's daughter, but she 'had me slurping the blue!' Only an Englishman's daughter, but she 'loved to Ben Dover!' Only an Englishman's daughter but she 'had the best crumpets in town!' Only an Irish man's daughter, but she 'had a special Dublin or nothing!' Only a Texan's daughter, but 'told me the big in Texas is a myth!' Only a Muslim's daughter, but she'd 'get on her knees and not face Mecca!' Only a rabbi's daughter, but her 'bagels were the best!' Only a Jew's daughter, but she 'had a special Matza balls recipe!' She was only a Trojan's daughter, but she 'was my favorite condum!' Only a grave digger's daughter, but she 'knew where to bury the bone!' Only a calendar makers daughter, but she 'couldn't keep her dates straight!' She was only a lawyer's daughter, but she 'had the briefest briefs!' Only a tobacconist's daughter, but she 'soon became a habit!' Only a janitor's daughter, but she 'knew how to dust my broom!' Here's the link to my site, now I definitely have music, and me singing "That's Just the Way That I Am," an original, there and pics too. Don't just stop at the front page scroll down and check it all out! Keep checking back it just been updated... I made a new page, "Me and Evilbay (A work in progress)." There are pages "How to Know If you're a New Yorker," by me and "Willys Jokes." A little humor on the serious side! Sign the guestbook too y'all! http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
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